ARSHI FS: Dard se tere...

PART 01: Tu mere alfazon ki tarah...

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”

                                                                                                                                 - Kahlil Gibran

AUGUST 23, 2011

BONHEUR COTTAGE, ENGLAND - 12:30 PM

HEMLOCK BED OF BONHEUR COTTAGE

He woke up with a start sweating heavily from his nap and looked around disoriented as he looked around at his surroundings to find himself in his little backyard veranda’s cozy hemlock-bed in lazy summer afternoon. His mind was still in foggy haze of sleep and he turned to look in the direction from where he heard footsteps to see a young lady in late-twenties coming towards him in simple kurti and jeans. 

She smiles at him seeing him awake, asked: “Hey there, you’re up..?” and walked to him as she sat on the swing beside him.

The guy looked at her disoriented as he replied in sleepy confused voice: “I saw a weird dream...” scrunching his face in confusion.

Hearing this, the girl got concerned and questioned: “What kind of dream..?” but not getting any reply she prompted again, “What sort of dream, Arnav?”

Arnav looked at her with adorable confused face with bed-hair and answered cutely: “I don’t remember the full dream exactly; it was all hazy and jumbled, Sona... There were so many people... and they were saying rude things to me... and... and Piyu... Piyu was also there too. She too said mean things to me, Sona and it hurt... hurts a lot. But what hurts more was she was crying... all faces were hazy except hers...” then he clutched his head groaning saying, “Grrr, my head is hurting...” shutting his eyes tight as he clutched his head tighter.

Sonakshi immediately brought his hands down from clutching his head, softly saying: “Hey relax first... don’t stress your brain. Take a deep breath in... And then slowly let it out...” she instructed and he did as he said as she soothingly continued, “Breath in... breath out... Now you’re alright..?”

He felt the sudden pain fading away as he let out a breath slowly replied: “Yeah, thanks...” giving her a thankful smile, then remembering something he frowned asking, “Hey what are you doing at home now... didn’t you go work today, Sonakshi..?”

She too smiled back at him said: “Don’t stress yourself like this; you know it is not good for your health and about not going work. It’s Saturday and it’s my off weekend...” she answered patiently.

Arnav tilted his head to one side adorable manner asked: “I had already asked you this, right..?” 

She smiled at him nodded answering: “Twice from the morning today...”

He bit his tongue said: “Oh, sorry... I forgot again.” giving a apologetic smile. 

And she brushed it off simply saying: “It’s okay anyways, are you hungry though it’s not lunch time yet, kuch khaoge?”

Arnav shook his head shook his head denying the offer and then bit his lower lip before he asked finally not being able to stop himself: “Sona, that dream I saw wasn’t just only a dream, hai na... it was some kind of my memory and you know about it, right..?” watching her carefully.

Sonakshi knew exactly what his dream was about and that was why she didn’t want him to remember it, but since he asked she’ll give him the truthful answer. So taking a deep breath she said: “Yeah I know what it was about and it is best for you not to remember it, Arnie...” as she pressed her lips firmly.

He nodded knowing that she knew better and then his hand went to the silver anklet which was near his pillow and he picked it up. He softly caressed it with his fingers staring at it then he looked up at her and asked softly: “Piyu is happy now, right... wherever she is..?” 

She gave him a small smile replying: “Your Piyu is healthy and happy in her life where she is now, you don’t worry...”

He nodded at her saying: “Good, I just want her to be happy... even if it is without Me.” whispered the last part more to himself than her looking down at the anklet in his hand.

She knew his mood went little mellowed so to distract him she asked: “By the way are you still up for the plan to visit the orphanage today? If you wanna still go then we’ll have to start soon or else we’ll get late...”

Hearing about Orphanage visit his ears picked up and Arnav looked at her brightly saying: “Yes I wanna go... you wait I’ll go and get ready in 10 mins.” and with that he jumped down from the swing, running inside the house to his room to get ready.

Sonakshi smiled broadly looking at the way he ran with mirth filled eyes and shook her head at his child-like excitement and antics. But the broad smile on her face soon disappears replacing with frowning lines on her forehead as she thought to herself: “It’s been 06 months now since that dreadful night, when you had arrived to my doorstep with your suitcase and a dead look on your face. It was so hard to look at your heartbroken face the first month we were in Delhi and then we shifted to London after Aman resigned from AR. Coming here had made things better even more so since you started to forget those memories as your amnesia started after a month of shifting here. How I can tell you those things which had cost you so much pain and it still hurts you when you get hazy glimpse of your past? Waqt ki gaaliyon mein tumhari har yaad dhoondli hone lagi hai, par yeh ek chehra hai jo tumhare dil se jata nahi... kaise batau tumhe ki usne toh tumhe kab ka bhula diya? The one person you loved the most isn’t worth your love, Arnie... that she didn’t trust you and said so many harsh things to you? That she replaced you with someone else and here you can’t seem to forget her, even if you don’t remember her...” as a lone tear escaped her eyes remembering Arnav’s state that night and she quickly wiped it off, got up to go inside and get ready. 

....

Tere siva kisko sochun main

Meri soch pe tum baithe ho

Arnav was brushing his hair standing in front of mirror as his eyes fall on the mangalsutra kept on the dresser. He put the brush down and picked the nuptial-chain as he lightly ran his finger over the beautiful stars-design diamond pendent and thought to himself: “Tumhe bhool kar bhi nahi bhool paya hoon main, aaj bhi mere har jaane ya anjaane khayaloon mein ho tum... though I know that you’ve willingly erased me from your life. I just hope you’re happy with your life wherever you’re and with whomever you’re Piyu. I know Sona tries to protect me from those memories and it is better this way I guess... it’s easier to stay away from you... I mean it is still hard but it is bearable because as they say ‘Ignorance is bliss’... and I want to live in this blissful ignorance cause that is easier to live with.” shaking himself out of such thoughts he pocketed the chain and looked himself a last time in the mirror. Then quickly pocketed his wallet, smart-phone, ID-card, hanky and wore his watch, took his handy-cam and walked out of the room going downstairs but not turning back to look at the live-size portrait of his Piyu in room a soft ‘Goodbye’ and giving a flying kiss.

Saansein jahan banti hai meri

Uss mod pe tum rehte ho

....

NAYI UMEED (NEW HOPE) ORPHANAGE, ENGLAND - 04:00 PM

“Tere siva kisko sochun main

Meri soch pe tum baithe ho

Saansein jahan banti hai meri

Uss mod pe tum rehte ho”

Arnav sat on the Orphanage garden hemlock with his guitar which he played along with humming a song, since the kids have demanded him to sing for them after lunch which he had with them and the kids were listening to him with fascination. He smiled at the kids as he sang; he loves the orphanage visits on weekends to which Sonakshi brings him. This orphanage is ran by an Indian trust and most of the children here are NRI children who lost their parents and minor strength were British also but they too understand Hindi due to staying under majority Indian kids and staff around. This place not only brought such wonderful sunshine faces but also another small piece for him to stay in touch with India in the foreign land of England.

He closed his eyes singing as the one face which has always inspired his songs flashed in his mind... the face he never wants or could forget, even the times he couldn’t remember himself. The bright smiles, cute face and sweet jumbled moments of/with his Piyu reeled in his mind as a soft smile made its way on his lips. His Piyu is like the air he breaths in, she is in his every thought be it good or bad, she is present in every word he say, she is the only stability in his unstable life. He loves her... always had and always will, his sweet Piyu forever.

“Tu mere alfaazon ki tarah

Tu mere lihaazon ki tarah

Gunguna lun aaja main tujhe

Tu meri aawaazon ki tarah

O…”

......

OCTOBER 26, 2011

SIDDHIVINAYAK TEMPLE, MUMBAI – 07:45 PM

Mere hathon se jo adaa ho

Uss duaa ki chaahat hai tu

Arnav had his eyes closed and hands folded in prayer in front of Vighnaharta Shree Siddhivinayak, as he prayed with utmost sincerity: “Hey Vighnaharta aap toh sab jaante hai, I don’t actually have anything to ask for myself. I just pray to you that keep Sonakshi, Aman and Supriya auntie to be always healthy and happy as they’re the only family I know as my own for now. I wish I could see my Piyu once before I--” almost signed heavily to himself but he continued mannat, “...khair it’s no use of wishing to see her again as it isn’t possible. Main aapse bas yahi maang ta hoon ki aap uski zindigi se sare vighna ko har lena... give her all of the world’s happiness and give her all pain to me but don’t let her be unhappy ever. That’s all I want and nothing more...” and opened his eyes as he smiled at Shree Ganesha statue. Then turned around move from there walking around see more of the beautiful temple which was looking even more beautiful with all the lamps lit and decorated beautifully for Diwali today.

He walked around looking at everything with fascination with his handy-cam pulled out for recording everything with a small smile on his lips. He knew people were giving him weird stares and why wouldn’t they he was wearing black Armani suit in temple that too on Diwali night wasn’t normal but what can he do, traditional outfits made him uncomfortable. He was at one of the big temple front courtyard type area where he saw diyas lit all around and then something unexpected caught his eyes which made him lower his handy-cam.

There in front of him clad in simple red sari with golden border among the lit diyas was his smiling Piyu who was smiling broadly and he was mesmerized by the scene in front of him. Arnav felt as if a spell was casted on him and in his trance he walked to her and bend down on his knee besides her watching her without even blinking. She seemed to be too lost engrossed to notice him and a breeze came making the lamps flicker and one diya almost blew off, so to prevent she put one hand and he put the other which made her look up at him as she stared at him wide-eyes. An lock of hair was falling over her eyes disturbing him so with the other hand he pushed the lock behind her ear making her close her eyes at his touch, his fingers tenderly brushed her cheek and he stared at her lovingly.

Guzre jo Rabb ke yahan se wo

Jannati si raah tu

But soon there trance was broken as he heard his name being called mixed with the ringing of temple bells and fire-cracker sounds from nearby making him look over his shoulder to see Sonakshi along with Supriya auntie were searching for him. So he quickly got up to walk up to them before they get more panicked, nearing them he called out: “Sona... Auntie, I’m here...” smilingly approaching them when they turned to look at his way hearing him.

Sonakshi and Supriya signed in relief seeing Arnav and walking up to them, Supriya concernedly asked: “Beta where did you go? We were searching for you all over...”

Arnav gave an apologetic smile saying: “Sorry I was just looking around and recording... I didn’t tell you guys because you were still praying, didn’t wanna disturb.” making a cute face that could melt anyone.

But Sonakshi wasn’t to melt so easily and started scolding him for his carelessness: “So you what..? You could’ve at least told me before walking out from there Arnie... pata hai hum kitne pareshaan ho gaye thay. What if something happened to you? Or you had gone lost... what would have happened?” her concern visible through her anger.

He made a puppy face said: “Sorry bol toh raha hoon na Sona... why are you getting so angry?” then he eyes glanced at the lamp lit place where he had seen his Piyu. Or better to say he had hallucinated Piyu there lightening diyas, a fleeting moment of past which projected in front of his eyes as his over-active imagination.

His thoughts were broken by Supriya’s voice who said: “Okay enough now, come on let’s go now it is getting late...” stopping Sonakshi from scolding Arnav more and Arnav gave Supriya a grateful smile for saving him.

Sonakshi gave up scolding Arnav more and agreed along her Mother-In-Law’s words but not before giving him an angry glare and turned around to leave. Supriya gave Arnav assuring smile and he too returned the smile brightly as they both knew Sonakshi couldn’t stay angry at him for long. Supriya smiled following her cute Daughter-in-law who was angry at her best friend, they’re all grownups yet behave like kindergarten kids most of the times. Arnav too started following them with a smile but after taking few steps ahead then stopped for a moment to look over his shoulder and he saw few people there at some distance and along them was his Piyu also standing, looking as angelic as ever.

Sajda tumhe sau dafa karun

Uss Rabb ki tarah dikhte ho

Saansein jahan banti hai meri

Uss mod pe tum rehte ho

Arnav smiled seeing her as his eyes sparkled with the unshed tears, moments like this when he could see her in front of him like she is actually there fills his heart yet break it at the same time. Looking in her direction and giving one last bittersweet smile he quickly turned around to follow after Sonakshi and Supriya, thanking Ganpati Bappa in his heart. Maybe it was his way of showing him that his Piyu is happy in her world, the world he doesn’t belong anymore but no use of lamenting over it because choices were made and he has accepted it that’s how his life is going to be. 

.......

DECEMBER 25, 2012

RAJPUT MANSION, ENGLAND – 07:30 PM

RAJPUT HOUSE BACKYARD

It’s was unexpected mellow wintwe evening in England and sitting in the backyard Arnav wearing black high-neck sweater, jacket and grey jeans he kept looking at the Ultra-Sonography report in his hand with fascination, asking in awe-ed lace voice: “Is this really the baby..?” looking towards Aman who sat in front of him.

Aman smiled at his buddy’s child-like fascination and answered: “Yes, this is the baby...” seeing him today like this no one could that he had reined the fashion world once.

Arnav looked up at Aman but his eyes quickly flickered back at the object in his hand as he exclaimed fascinated: “He is so tiny...” smiling broadly. And then quickly picked up his handy-cam beside him, then switching it on he started recording as he speaking on the camera, “Hi baby it’s me again today! So right now I’m very excited today and guess why? Karo karo guess... okay I’ll tell you...” then he brought up the other hand holding the sonography as he continued, “Tan tad da! This is first picture of yours and you’re almost 07 months old now see how tiny you’re... awww I love you, baby. I wish I could be here when you come to this world to welcome you, that I get a chance to see you... Phir mujhe pata hai that I won’t get any chance, but that’s okay... so what I’m not there to welcome you, I’m leaving so many video-diaries for you to know that your Godfather loves you very much. Also Merry Christmas buddy!” and blew kiss before shutting it off and putting it down as he adjusted his beanie he started wearing all times recently due to beginning of his hair loss. 

Aman smiled at Arnav’s antics but hearing the last few lines he said made him sad knowing that despite how much he hated to admit he knew Arnav doesn’t have much time. He took in Arnav’s appearance, seeing him today there was no trace of the once powerful young business tycoon known as The ASR who had ruled the fashion world. But what in front of him was a man who was fading away slowly in the sands of time; he had gotten thinner and paler with dark circles around under his eyes and hollow cheeks. 








He quickly brushed off the tear from corner of his eyes before Arnav could notice and put on a smile on his face to hide the sudden rush of emotions, casually asked: “ASR did you finish the designs..?”

Arnav looked up at Aman smilingly replied: “Yeah, take a look...” as he passed the sketch book beside him.

Aman smiled and he went seeing the bridal collection designs Arnav had made and as he turned page from on red lehenga to another page was there another sketch which made him gasp. The sketch was smiling Arnav’s Piyu sitting having a cute baby-bump and Arnav had his hears on her bump smilingly as she ran fingers through his hair looking at him lovingly. 








He looked up at Arnav who sat in front of him biting his nails nervously, asked in neutral tone: “What is this..?” pointing at the sketch.

Arnav mumbled first but then thought it was better to say the truth and answered in audible voice: “Woh today I had a dream seeing how happy you and Sonakshi are for the upcoming first baby of yours and was about how it would’ve been if Piyu was pregnant too with our baby... It was nice and didn’t want to forget it, so I drew it.” with a wistful dreamy look in his eyes.   

Aman stared at Arnav for while seeing he was lost in thoughts before he signed to himself heavily wondering what this man is made of. But and then this is the real Arnav... the selfless, forever giving and loving Arnav whom no one saw or better to say that no one tried to see past behind the facade of arrogance, anger and coldness. This is the Arnav for whom he had left his job as M.D. / CEO’s P.A. which he did first as ASR’s P.A. and later only a month as Akash Raizada’s when ASR had quit and Akash took over the company. He had known ASR closely then his own family has ever known him, he knows what all ASR has done for his family all his life yet what that family did to him, not only family but the woman ASR loved with all his heart too broke him to pieces. After everything ASR never held any grudge on anyone and still in-love the woman who so easily moved on his life getting over him and he is still weirdly stuck where she had left him almost a year ago. Those people never realized what a gem ASR truly was and when they would no amount of crying or begging would help them, thought Aman. 

Tu mere alfaazon ki tarah

Tu mere lihaazon ki tarah

Gunguna lun aaja main tujhe

Tu meri aawaazon ki tarah

......

FEBRUARY 15, 2013

WARD NO. 456, GOLDWATER HOSPITAL, LONDON – 12:10 AM

Khwabon ke labon pe tu hi tha ruka

Ya tera naam tha

“It's our anniversary," I say. This is true. It is one year before gold. Forty-nine years today. 

"I see." She looks away for a moment, and her voice becomes softer. I am surprised. She has never struck me as the sentimental type. "Noah, I've seen hundreds of couples struggle with grief, but I've never seen anyone handle it like you do. No one around here has ever seen anything like it." She pauses for just a moment and her eyes begin to fill with tears. "I try to think what it's like for you, how you keep going day after day, but I can't imagine it. I don't know how you do it. You even beat her disease sometimes. Even though the doctors don't understand it, we nurses do. It's love—it's as simple as that. It's the most incredible thing I've ever seen."

 A lump has risen in my throat, and I am speechless. 

"But, Noah, you're not supposed to do this, and I can't let you. So go back to your room." Then, smiling, sniffling and shuffling some papers, she says: "Me, I'm going downstairs for some coffee. I won't be back to check on you for a while, so don't do anything foolish." 

She rises quickly, touches my arm and walks towards the stairs--” sitting on the comfortable chair in the private VIP ward beside the hospital bed a heavily pregnant Sonakshi was reading out loud Nicolas Spark’s classic novel ‘The Notebook’.

Lying on the bed listening was a very sick and pale Arnav who spoke up interrupting the story-telling: “Sona you shouldn’t be here in this state, go home because you seem to have forgotten that you’re heavily pregnant as you due date is nearing and need rest...” his voice not above mere weak whisper.

Sonakshi looked up at him from the book she was reading to him and answered him saying simply: “I’m fine Arnie; and anyways baby loves to spend time with you. By the way why are in hurry to send me... are you planning of doing funny business behind me which you shouldn’t be doing?” narrowing her eyes at him playfully she inquired, “Arnie are you going out with that sexy nurse of yours behind me..?”

He chuckled at her statement and played on along with her: “Yes I’ve a secret date with her as you know no one can resist my hot and charming self but you’re ruining it all Sona... Shoo off now, so that I can have some secret sexy time with the hot nurse.” winking playfully.

She dramatically went on: “I knew it... I knew it you were cheating on me, you men are all same. Now what will I do, main loot gai, bardaad ho gai...” fake crying like Meena Kumari and Arnav went laughing fits though it was weak but still he was happily chuckling while she looked at him with sad eyes discreetly wiping tears.

Arnav stopped laughing as he looked at Sonakshi’s sad teary face, which making him go in serious mode. Signing deeply he spoke slowly: “Sona stop being upset over me...I’m going to be fine.” as he turned to look at Aman who sat beside her, “Aman samjhao na isse, it is not good for her to be crying...” 

Aman himself was feeling dreadful inside seeing ASR so weak and pale lying on hospital bed with dark circles, hollowed cheeks, thin and messy hair along with beard, once a powerful man now looked so weak and fragile attached to so many machines. But controlling himself he made mock-serious comment: “ASR now if you make a woman read such sappy-romantic novel that pregnant and hormonal one, then how can you expect no tears..?”

  

She swatted him saying: “Not funny...” making a face at him.

Arnav too playfully frowned adding in Sonakshi’s support: “It’s a good novel and you’re being stupid, Aman...” but then he turned serious as he wistfully said, “I wish even I got a chance to celebrate 49th anniversary like Noah. There is so much I wish I could do; I wish I could be here to welcome the baby, I wish I had a long life with Piyu and we had many babies of our own, I wish my real family weren’t hating me... but some wishes just remain as wishes and wistful dreams.” 

Aman shook his head saying: “ASR nothing is going to happen to you, hume aaj shaam ko party karni hai na... It’s your birthday after all so stop thinking this rubbish ASR, kuch nahi hoga tumhe.” trying to control his emotions.

Arnav felt sad for leaving them, he’ll always be grateful for them to love him so much. Deciding to ask a question which had most times plunged his thought looked at Sonakshi and Aman with hopeful eyes asking: “I don’t remember but you tell me I wasn’t a bad person right?”

Sonakshi sniffed as she answered him: “No you were the best person I had known in my life... you were a dutiful son, responsible brother, respected employer, perfect husband and I’m so proud of you Arnie. And if my baby is 1% like you I would know he became a good person...”

Arnav smiled saying playfully: “Toh tum apne baby ka naam ‘Arnav’ rakh dena...”

Sonakshi nodded at him in agreement and Aman to lighten up the mood attempted by saying: “ASR how do you know that this baby is a boy..? It could be a girl also for all you know; in fact I’m sure it is a girl.”

He looked at Aman contradicting his statement by saying: “Nope I know for a fact it is going to be a boy...” then his eyes met Sonakshi’s and said to her cute playful way, “If I came back as your son, won’t you love me Sona?” but a hidden hope and seriousness in his eyes.

She sniffed then answered him honestly: “If you came back as my son, I’ll love you the most and no one would be happier than me...” giving him a watery smile.

Arnav chocked with emotions as he smiled and said: “Done deal, ab toh mein pakka tumhara beta ban ke hi wapas aaunga.” then he looked hesitant for a moment biting his lips, but then went to with it, “Can I ask you something Sona..?”

She nodded: “Yeah, sure anything...”

He nervously says: “I want you to promise me something...” as Sonakshi looked at him expectantly and he continued, “Stop resenting and hating Piyu...” as the words came out of his mouth she was about to protest but he didn’t give her a chance, “I know you’re angry with her and you hate her for what all she did to me which I don’t remember of course. But you know how much I love her and my best friend hating the love of my life makes me feel as if you hate a part of me and I don’t like that. So promise me that you won’t hate or resent Piyu anymore please, for my sake.” looking at her with hopeful teary eyes.

She couldn’t say no to those eyes looking at her and so she gave in: “Okay I promise, I won’t resent or hate her anymore...” and inside she knew it would be hard but she’ll try for her best friend, she can’t hate any part of him.

Arnav gave him a small squeezing her hand a little and said: “And will you give her my last message if you ever get the chance..? Please tell her that I loved her very much, that I lived for her... If I loved one person till my last breath than it was only her, you’ll tell that Piyu for me won’t you..?” and his friends only nodded in agreement to fulfill his dying wishes. Feeling more at peace he closed his eyes exhaling a breath of relief, a lone tear rolled down his left eye and he softly asked her, “Okay now finish up the story...I’m listening.”

Sonakshi wiped her tears quickly and picked up the book from her lap and resumed reading the end of the novel to him again. Arnav had his eyes closed listening to her reading him and a peaceful slumber started taking on him, making his mind drift between reality and dreams: “...When her lips meet mine, I feel a tingling I have never felt before, in all our years together, but I do not pull back. And suddenly a miracle, for I feel her mouth open and I discover a forgotten paradise, unchanged all this time, ageless like the stars. I feel the warmth of her body and allow myself to slip away, as I did so many years ago. I close my eyes and become a mighty ship in churning waters, strong and fearless, and she is my sails. I gently trace the outline of her cheek, then take her hand in mine. I kiss her lips, her cheeks, and listen as she takes a breath. She murmurs softly, "Oh, Noah . . . I've missed you." Another miracle—the greatest of all! — and there's no way I can stop the tears as we begin to slip towards heaven itself. For at that moment, the world is full of wonder as I feel her fingers reach for the buttons on my shirt and slowly, ever so slowly, she begins to undo them one by one.” as she read the story to him, an image painted in his head of him with his Piyu, kissing her soft and lovingly. With the beautiful scene in mind a peace slumber engulfed him as he surrendered himself to the peace with a soft smile adoring his lips.

Sonakshi finished the novel shutting the book looked up to see the peacefully sleeping face Arnav along with Aman as before her eyes flickered to the beeping heartbeat monitor where it showed the green straight line. She felt the reality sinking into her and hugged Aman breaking down in to cries knowing her best friend was gone... gone forever far off from them to never return, they couldn’t save him. While Aman, he just stared at ASR still not believing...still not reacting as he patted his wife mechanically.

....










THREE HOURS LATER

After a while Aman was sitting with crying Sonakshi on one of the corridor chair as she kept sobbing on his shoulder and he too felt like braking down bur was only being strong for his pregnant wife. The doctor came out of the private ward with sober face giving official statement of the known: “I’m sorry Mr. Rajput, he is no more and nothing could’ve been done to save him anyways, but we can say he passed away without much suffering. We’ll handover the body to you in an hour and here is the slip... show this in the reception and they’ll issue the death certificate to you. By the way official time of death would be 12:36 AM...” saying so he patted Aman’s shoulder and left from their while Aman closed his eyes tightly and silent tears rolled down from his eyes as he rubbed Sona’s shoulder who wept all over him.

Neendein meri dhoondhti rahin tujhe

Tu kahin gumnaam tha

.....

FEBRUARY 15, 2014 





RAJPUT HOUSE – 06:45 AM



Sonakshi was in her bedroom clutching a photo of Arnav and crying uncontrollably, speaking between her sobs brokenly: "Kyun itna pyaar karte the usse Arnie... itna pyaar ki khud ko barbaad kar liya tumne... Kyun aisi ladki se pyaar kiya jisne tumhe kabhi samjha hi nahi... jisne tumhari kadar hi nahi samjhi... Kyun nahi usse ladhe tum usse jab usne tumhe galat samjha, tum par ilzaam lagaya... Kyun itna pyaar kiya usse ki sab bhool gaye lekin usse nahi bhula paye... Kyun tumhari family jinke liye itna kuch kiya tumne, tumhe aise hi apni zindigi se bahar phek diya...  Kyun tumhare pyaar ne aise tumhari jaan le li... Mujhe yaad hai  woh din jab reports postive aayi thi that you were responding to the treatment aur kitna khush the, tum jeena chahte the... uss ke liye jeena the, uske saath jeena chahte te... phir usne tumse tumhari umeed kyun cheen li...? Kyun tumhari Piyu ne itna dard diya tumhe, jab tumne usse pyaar ke siva kuch nahi diya...? Kyun aise jeene ki chah choor di Arnie...? Jaanti hoon main tumhari bimari ne nahi, tumhare toote dil ne tumhe maar diya... Kyun chale gaye aise Arnie...? Kyun tumhe itna dard mila...? Kya galti thi tumhari ki tumhe kabhi pyaar nahi mila jo tumne chaha apni Piyu se, tumhe saamjha nahi tumhare ghar walo ne... Kyun itna dard diya Arnie...? Kyun tumhe aise tord diya unhone...? Kyun tum Arnie, kyun tum...?" as she cried for her best friend's pain... the pain he carried even in his death, who was more of a brother to her then just friend. (Why did you love her so much Arnie... you loved her so much that it destroyed you... Why did love a girl who never understood you... who never understood the value of you... Why didn't you fight with her when she misunderstood you, when she blamed you... Why did you love her so much that even when you forgot everything you still didn't forget her... Why did your family for those you did so much, so easily threw you out of their lives... Why did your love kill you... I still remember when the reports positive that day that you were responding to treatment and you were so happy, you wanted to live... you wanted to live for her, you wanted to live with her... then why did she snatched your hope from you...? Why did your Piyu hurt you so much, when all you ever gave her was love...? Why did you gave up on living Arnie...? I know that it wasn't your illness, it was you broken heart that killed you... Why did you leave like this Arnie...? Why did you get all this pain...? What was your fault that you never got the love you wanted from you Piyu, that your family didn't understand you... Why did you get so much pain Arnie...? Why did they break you like this...? Why you Arnie, why you...?)  

Aman stood at the door of their room as he looked away in pain, even he thought the same as his wife did that why was it ASR who always got hurt in the end, received pain even after everything he did for others. But no answers ever came and they could do nothing except accept like ASR had... that maybe this was what fate had destined for him though it did nothing to console but then again what can anyone do. Knowing that if she continued to cry hysterically like this Sonakshi would get sick and it was something that ASR wouldn't have wanted her to do in this condition. So, Aman went inside and hugged his wife who was now sobbing on his shoulder and he tried to calm her down.







Aman sat down on the bed as he made Sonakshi lay down beside him said: "Sona bas, stop crying  it's not good for you... ASR would have never liked if you made yourself sick crying for him. Please stop crying and sleep some, you need rest as last night you didn't sleep at all and it is stressing your body now." and so after a lot cajoling did he was finally make her sleep though her distress was still visible.







He sat there for a while looking at her sleeping form and then got up to leave the room, he couldn't sleep as he had too much in mind. So, getting up he left the room to go downstairs and to sit alone sorting through his thoughts and grief that he didn't want to distress his wife with.



  







.....













ONE HOUR LATER













The bright morning didn't brighten up Rajput house, it was still clouded with sadness as all were mourning over the loss of Arnav yesterday. Aman still wearing white kurta-pyjama sat in living room couch staring at the big smiling portrait of ASR hanging in the wall with garland on it and a lamp lit in front of it, still not being able to believe.  Supriya came out of her room after getting ready for the day saw Aman sitting alone so she went to him and asking: “Aman, why are you sitting here along beta?” making him snap out of his thoughts.

Aman looked at her and answered simply: “Bas aise hi Mom, just couldn’t sleep... I still can’t believe ASR is no more among us.” 

She too signed sitting down beside him said: “Yakin toh mujhe bhi nahi ho raha hao, today we were suppose to celebrate his 29th birthday aur dekho kya se kya hogaya. Khair how is Sonakshi now? Stress isn’t good for her in this stage...”

Aman: “Had a hard time making her sleep... she kept crying till late night and slept due to tiredness. I came downstairs because I just couldn’t sleep.” rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Supriya looked at him with understandingly and then asked a few moments of silence: “Are you going to inform the Raizada family about it..? They should know, after all they are his family...” she was meaning to ask it since a while.

Before Aman could answer a voice came from behind answering sternly: “They don’t need to know to anything and they don’t have the right to anymore. Unke liye toh Arnie kab ka mar gaya and we were the only family he had.” as she carefully walked down the last few steps holding the railing for support. Aman jumped up and went to her helping her by holding her shoulder and made her on the couch beside his Mom as Sonakshi said adamantly, “No one is informing Raizada family or anyone related to them anything...”

Supriya tried saying: “But beta they’ve a right to kn--”

But Sonakshi being stubborn cut off in mid saying: “No, they don’t... Crazy how you can do nice things for people all the time and they never notice, but once you make a mistake, it’s never forgotten. They never bother to find about him and after what they did to him, they lost all rights, koi kuch nahi batayega unhe bas...” 

He seeing her getting hyper spoke to calm her: “Relax, no one is informing them... you just calm down, getting hyper isn’t good for you.” motioning Supriya to drop it now. 

So changing the topic Supriya asked: “Aman go and freshen up then come for breakfast...” 

Nodding in agreement Aman silently made way to his room to change and freshen up leaving Sonakshi and Supriya sitting in living room. After 20 mins showered and changed in fresh set of casual white t-shirt and black shorts he came down to see his Mom and wife at the dining table having eating silently as he sat down on his chair picked up a toast to eat suddenly Sonakshi screamed in pain holding her very pregnant tummy. 






Worried Aman and Supriya asking at same time: “Kya huwa... you’re okay?”

Sonakshi panting heavily as said with difficulty: “I think it’s time for us to go to hospital...my water broke AHHH!!” her face twisting in agony as she screamed. 

Hearing that without wasting a second she was rushed to hospital by her husband and Mother-in-law and the whole way she screamed in the car as Supriya tried to calm her while Aman was going into panic.

....

LABOR ROOM, GOLDWATER HOSPITAL – 06:25 PM

Sonakshi was strapped to the weird chair in labor room pushing with all her might as per the doctor’s instruction screaming curses at Aman holding his one hand in death grip. While Aman stood beside her giving her support and trying not to see too much blood because he was sure he’ll faint if he got even a glimpse of it. Sonakshi gave on hard final push screaming bloody murder holding Aman’s hand so tight that he thought his bone might break and then moments later a newborn’s wailed in the room as she fall back exhausted and covered in sweat tiredly but had a smiled on face and Aman had happy tears in his eyes as the doctor asked him to come and cut the umbilical cord.  After that the doctor announced it was a boy and the baby was taken by nurse to clean up while Aman was asked to wait outside as they clean and shift Sonakshi in private ward.

....

02 HOURS LATER

Aman coo-ed over the newborn in his arms as the baby yawned cutely and the newly turned Daddy was just in awe of every little thing his baby did. Aman sat beside Sonakshi on the bed putting him in her lap as he said to her with gratitude: “Thank you so much for such a precious gift...” and kissed her forehead.

Supriya smiled at them and said: “Acha I’m going out to call Sonakshi’s parents to give them the news, I’ll be back in a while.” as she left giving the new parents little time alone.

Aman and Sonakshi were admiring their baby when a nurse with a pad in hand entered and smilingly congratulated them and asked: “Sir I came for the form fill-up for birth certificate of your child. So can you please tell me your name, the mother’s name and baby’s name if you’ve decided it..?”

She smiled answering the nurse: “Father’s name Mr. Aman Rajput, Mother’s name Mrs. Sonakshi Aman Rajput and the baby’s name Arnav Singh Rajput.” as she looked at her baby who was looking up at her adorably blinking cutely and the nurse noted down the names quickly and left them alone.

Aman looked at her curiously asked: "You actually naming him ASR...? You do realize right that if he actually turns out to be a mini-ASR than we'll have our hands full running after the little trouble-maker...?" his wife just looked up at him smiling, he signed, "Don't say later that I didn't try to warn you..." with a knowing look.

Sonakshi nodded at him and kissed the baby’s forehead as she lovingly said: “I know you came back to us Arnie and we’ll love you so much... the love you always had deserved...” then she turned facing Aman and says to him, “Arnie ne kaha than a woh humara beta banke wapas aayega, see he came back to us and it’s his birthday also today... he came back to us.” she had tears in her eyes and Aman just side-hugged her.

Lagta hoon main tere hubahu

Aur tum bhi mere jaise ho

Saansein jahan banti hai meri

Uss mod pe tum rehte ho 

......

11 MONTHS LATER

BABY ARNAV

Sitting on floor Sonakshi who had just finished feeding her naughty baby-boy, who for a change today didn’t trouble his Mumma when she fed him. Now he was rolling his play-mat with a stuff dog in his hands and giggling happily staring at the T.V screen. The mother of the cute baby was smiling at his cute baby antics, laying on his tummy with the stuff toy in his hand, happily chuckling watching the video she had put on. Sonakshi for a change instead of some cartoon had played one of Arnav’s video-diary tapes, that baby Arnie seems to be like a lot. She too looked up at screen to see the image of a smiling Arnav playing guitar and singing she had recorded this at one of the orphanage trips as she teary smile made on her face.

“O… tu mere alfaazon ki tarah

Tu mere lihaazon ki tarah

Gunguna lun aaja main tujhe

Tu meri aawaazon ki tarah”

....










PRECAP: Khushi ki kahaani... what do you think what is happening there...?










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[NOTE: So this was the chapter of Arnav’s life as he spent a whole year without Khushi, do tell how many of you cried because I surely did while writing and editing. Credit for the 'The Notebook' portion is of the Nicolas Sparks and Google.




The story turns in two versions from next chapter, in first version Khushi marries NK and in second version she doesn't.... those who don't want to read the first version please just read the Alternate Version from chapter 02 of this story.]