ARSHI OS: Coming Home

            



"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
                                                                                                                          - Mahatma Gandhi











Only moonlight filtered into the room through the slits of the blinds. The first tear fell from the corner of my eye, and then the next. I ran my thumb over the cold and stared at our happy expressions, frozen like that, not knowing what the future would bring. My breathing became rigid as my fingers tightened around the picture frame of us. Soon, the picture of Arnav and I became blurry from the tears and I let the photo fall to my bedding. My fingers curled into my hair as the saddened rage built. 






"God dammit!" my voice was quiet and strangled. I let my legs curl up into myself and my arms wrapped around them. It was hurting again and I couldn't help It anymore... at least when I was alone. Curling up like this, it was the best I could do for a hug... Remembering the last time I felt his arms around me. 










FLASHBACK: ARMY DEPLOYMENT 







His thumbs were on my cheeks and his fingers caressed the back of my hair. He looked so handsome in his gear, god that was part of the reason I fell for him that first time... 





His hair was high and tight and wavy jet-black, unlike mine from its chestnut brown and long reaching till hips but kind of messy with light curls. His hazel eyes looked down at me, looking into mine deeply, lovingly. I was a wreck and I didn't want him to leave again, I wanted him beside me every morning, I wanted to hug him when I got home from class or work and tell him how much I loved him. 








It was just after Diwali... This wasn't fair, it's just NOT FAIR! I felt his lips on mine and I wrapped my arms around him, clutching his crisp cameo, knowing this was the last time that I'd be able to touch him for a long time... again.





His arms wrapped around me and he picked me up with ease, holding my petite frame to his gigantic one. I'm 5'7" and 120 pounds curvy in all the right places and he's a 6'6", 250 pound tank with rock-hard muscles everywhere.






His kiss made me weak and that's when I felt him shudder, a single tear hitting my face. This one was not mine. It made me realize how awful this must be for him too. Yes, being an army man is what he loves, it's what he was born to do and it makes me so proud to be able to call this man mine, but this... This wasn't a good time for anyone. 








Our kiss straggled on for as long as we could bear, taking every last bit of me I could possibly give him. It felt like I was being ripped in two. When we finally pulled apart, he let me down carefully, making sure I was steady before he let me stand on my own. He somehow was still managing to pull off a smile. One of us had to be strong, right? Because I sure as hell wasn't right now, his fingers ran through my hair and he pressed his forehead to mine. He may have been smiling but a few sparse tears were staining his cheeks as well as my own. 







Arnav said: "I'm going to miss you so much, Khushi." his sweet deep bass voice filled with more tears than he was showing. My hands were wrapped around his waist. 






I replied looking at him with teary eyes: "I'm going to miss you too... more than anything, Booboo." I couldn't muster anything more than a shaky whisper then. He closed his eyes and his lips when into a tight smile as water got squished between his eyelids. 







Arnav tried assuring me saying: "This is the last time, just four months... just a quick deployment on the field before the promotion. T‐Then my tenure of on fields ends as I’ll get the promotion as Lieutenant Colonel and be posted on ground base mostly and I'm never leaving again..." he promised me and I nodded my head, falling into his chest. His arms wrapped around me in one last tight embrace.




He told me softly: "Be strong for me, Titli..." his chest rumbling. I nodded. "And I'm going to watch all of your shows that I can. I'm not going to need force for some of the guys to watch to if we get a good internet connection." I tightened my hold on him, "I love you to the moon, and back, Ms. Khushi Gupta soon-to-be-Raizada." he whispered into my ear.







I whispered back: "A‐And I lo‐love you to the s‐s‐ stars and b- back Major Arnav Singh Raizada soon-to-be-my-Hubby." my emotions taking over again. He held me close to him for as long as he could before he had to walk to the hanger.





His arms loosened and my lips mouthed the word 'no'. But his warmth was soon gone and quickly turned into a memory as I watched him start to back away. That was all I could do... Watch helplessly as the man I love going back to war, went back to being shot at, and went back for another round of risking his life...






To protect everyone back home. 






I swallowed down the hard rock that seemed to be forming in my throat and I mouthed 
out, "I love you Booboo."








Even from the distance, I saw him mouth it back and a bit of my heart soared. I could do this. Four months would go by in a flash. He'd be back before I knew it!







FLASHBACK ENDS 








Four months got turned into six and six got turned into ten, maybe twelve... And he hasn't even mentioned being back anytime soon. To say that my hopes were crushed was long gone. The only inkling thread of hope I still had was that he'd be back by Diwali. 





My tears had left a large wet blotch on the sheet when I finally opened my eyes. I closed my eyes and sighed, shaking my head as I sat myself up. I rubbed my eyes with my sweatshirt sleeve and grabbed the picture frame of Arnav and me after one of autumn-collection show I walked on ramp, two Septembers ago. I was still in my dress, eye twinkling, elegant hairdo and make-up and he was all handsome in semi-formals with half-sleeve shirt, waist-coat, tie and formal pants and his tattoos showing, arm wrapped around the back of my waist. God... 







I placed the frame back on my nightstand and huddled up to myself, on my bed, in our apartment, alone. I felt pathetic but I didn't care. I just wanted Arnav. 





You know, it wasn't that bad at first. For the first four months, we Skype-d at least once a week and emailed a lot. Then when the first extension happened, long period internet use was cut so emails were the only thing we communicated by. After the second one... all I got was an email saying not to worry but he wouldn't be able to write for a while. Now I just pray to God that the damn telephone never rings with so‐and‐so from somewhere in the Army with blah blah rank here to tell me some regretful news about Arnav. 






I don't know where he is. I don't know what's happening. I don't know if he's okay or not and it's all been driving me up a freaking wall lately. I need something, just a little bit more reassurance that he is alive and breathing. 






I leaned back and settled myself into the bed, sending my final prayers to who knows where. I closed my eyes and tried to relax the best I could. From waking up early for a workout, then classes, to practice, to breaking down yet again tonight, sleep came easily to my exhausted body. 









FLASHBACK: FOUR YEARS AGO 









This is ridiculous. You met him on a freaking app. Like Dating-app has served you so well in the past... The thoughts of my past hook-ups and failed first dates floated through my head. I brushed it off the best I could and stood up strong. 







He's in Delhi  for the summer. 







You've talked to him for several weeks now. 




It's time you met him in person. 







I put my hands nervously playing with the strap of my purse I had slung over across my shoulder as I looked down at my outfit which consisted of maroon sweater over an cream-top visible and black slacks with beige boots and my small purse slang over my shoulder. I brushed a lock of hair off my eyes as I huffed out some stress as I walked into the park. There weren't many people here this afternoon, which I was grateful for, and the weather wasn't overbearing or anything. The sun was just barely setting, only the ends of the sky starting to turn color.

KHUSHI'S DRESS

I walked a bit into the park toward the center where the big fountain was. There were benches surrounding it and flowers on the outskirts of the pathway, tastefully placed around it in an orderly, thought out way. 






He was standing there; white T-shirt and acid wash jeans, lightly ripped, and flip flops, muscles huge, tattoos down his arms, hair short, and eyes behind some dark tinted aviators. Oh Baby Jesus, he was a lot hotter in person. He noticed me coming towards him and stood. Damn he's tall. A happy smile grew on his lips and he raised his sunglasses into his hair. When I finally got within a few feet of him, I looked up at him and smiled nervously. 





He asked me: "You're Khushi, right?" his voice was super deep. 





I nodded slowly: "And... You're Arnav?" I asked. 




He nodded and gave a toothy smile; one that made me blush a bit: "It's nice to finally meet you, Khushi. You're photos don't do you justice. You're a hell of a lot hotter in person." he said with a deep chuckle. 






My cheeks were on fire: "Thanks..." I mumbled awkwardly as my eyes slowly wracked his whole body from head to toe. God he is so handsome. His jaw line was chiseled, covered by light stubble; his eyes were big and happy, hazel. His lips were smaller but plump, giving him this pout-y look that was adorable. 




His hand intertwined with mine and my eyes grew, shooting down to where the sudden heat had engulfed me. I was a normal almost 19 year old, who is a bit taller than most girls with height of 5'7" and 120 pounds curvy petite. Getting a scholarship to Fashion Designing and Modelling Institute, I'd need to maintain my figure up some to stay competitive... My hand was hardly even visible under his manly grasp. He may only be 23 but god; he was a fully fledged man.






He asked casually: "Shall we go for a walk?" 





I nodded and shoved down my nerves: "Yeah, let's walk." I needed to be cool for this.






Slick.






We started walking but neither of us said anything at first.





He said honestly: "Sorry for just grabbing your hand, I couldn't help it." a little bit of a blush on his cheeks.






I looked down at our hands: "Its fine, I just..." and a funky smile grew on my lips, "I like it." I finished.




Arnav said: "Good, I do too." and then paused for a moment, looking at me before he spoke again,"You really are quite beautiful. I knew you were attractive from your profile but, like it said, your photos don't do you justice." he said honestly and again I felt like I wanted to hide from this beautifully intimidating man that was complementing me. He said smoothly, "Don't shy away now." trying not to intimidate me, but it did the opposite. He must have picked up on it because he sighed quietly, "You are a model." stating and I looked up.







I explained tentatively: "Y‐Yeah... ever since middle school, I got a scholarship in a Fashion Institute for fashion designing and modelling as well as get to walk on ramp as model for experience."  and he smiled.







He asked me:"You must be good then. I had seen fashion industry up and close since my Dad owns his own Fashion House, but the army was my calling. What cloth line you model most?"  







Arnav had mentioned the army before when we were talking on the app, but stupidly I never asked him to explain that a little more: "Mostly ethnic bridal Indian, other than that seasonal collections and westerns also.... I had been show-stopper for few shows mostly bridal. What... What do you do in the army?" I asked him curiously. 




He squeezed my hand a little and I squeezed back: "I'm sure you'll do fine. Hell, you must mean something to them if they want you enough to pay!" he explained and yeah, he was right. He cracked his neck before be continued, "I'm a Captain, but I'll be a Major by the end of next year. We get deployed to where we're needed and then we come back, train some more maybe have a leave or something and then we're back at it..." he explained to me. He looked comfortable talking about it, "It’s a pain in the ass, but, I love it to pieces. I'd die for this country to keep the ones I love safe..." and that sounded more like a promise.








We walked and talked for a while longer until the day light had run out. I learned his favorite color was red, he loved Christmas, he fixed up old cars when he could, loved steak and red wine, and he was on leave for the summer before he went off to training before deployment.





We walked back to my car, still holding hands. Things had become pretty relaxed between us by the time the first hour had passed and it had turned into a fun dynamic between the two of us.





I had let go of his hands and had started do pull my keys out of my pocket. I pressed the unlock button and the lights on my car flashed. 







Arnav said sternly: "Khushi...” makes me turn towards him in a flash. His firm hands landed on my shoulders, but they quickly turned soft. His hands slowly slid up my neck and into my hair. My heart was skipping beats left and right. The way he was looking at me... The nervousness slightly disguised by desire, as he leaned in. 






Explosions.








Everywhere.





His lips were soft and his stubble was scratchy; God how I loved it! It was only a simple kiss; just lips sucking on lips, but Jesus Christ, did it make my face go nuclear!







He pulled back from me with this shy, goofy grin on his lips and I was just struggling to find a breath after that. He seemed to enjoy my awkward struggle, says: "Goodnight please text me, when you get home so I know you got home safe." he pecked my cheek before he turned to walk away to his own truck. It was a few seconds after he had even pulled away that I had finally said anything. 




I whispered dreamily: "Okay..." 







FLASHBACK ENDS










The blasting sound from my alarm clock woke me. I clamped my eyes shut until the sound nearly drove me insane. My eyes opened like shattering glass and my fist swung over and smacked the damn clock. One of these days it was just going to explode under the force but, until that glorious day, I had to deal with that annoying piece of shit. 





It was show day and also 15th August, the Independence Day. I needed to pull myself together, fast. I sighed and sat up in bed, not looking over at Arnav's side. Slid the sheets off and walked to the bathroom across the room. I didn't bother looking in the mirror because I knew I looked like trash right now. My hair would be sticking up in places it shouldn't and my eyes would be crusty from crying right before I went to sleep. 








I pulled off my tank top and cotton-shots than turned the cold shower, I'd need it this morning. 







.................











Payal said: "Khushi, yoo-hoo!" snapping her fingers in front of my face. The sound from the Starbucks we were in filtered back into my ears and my eyes. Her raven locks came into view along with her beautifully done up face. She had been my best friend since freshman year of college, always there for me or to slap me in the face when I was being an idiot.  







I grumbled: "What?" and took a sip of my coffee, French vanilla macchiato. She cocked a shapely brow at me and dared me to take that tone with her again. 






She scolded me: "You know exactly what, smarty... tone down this morning will you?" 





I sighed, I knew I was being prissy and apologizing I said: "Sorry for zoning out. Now what was the idea you had for the city center design?" trying to focus. Her eyes narrowed and I put my hands up in defeat. I don't know what she wants from me this morning. 





Payal spoke with sort of sarcasm: "We, or should I say I, talked about the city center ten minutes ago. Were you really out of it for that long?" she asked, stressing her annoyance and concern. 





I groaned and rubbed my face with my hand: "Look, Payal, I'm sorry, really! I just had a bad night last night." my words were more of a mumble by the end and I cast my gaze away, not wanting to see how angry she'd be with me. Instead, I felt a hand on my forearm. 





She asked: "You've been having more of those lately, haven't you?" but obviously, she knew the answer. 






I nodded my head anyways and felt like a dolt: "I miss him so much... He's everything to me and and... And I don't even know where he is, if he's okay. Oh god what i i‐i‐if he got shot or something awful happened to him and someone is calling my apartment right now to tell me that he's gone for the love of god Payal I don't think I could‐" 








SLAP 








Her hand slammed over my mouth and she gave me this angry stern look. 







Payal ordered: "Stop it right now!" and I didn't even think about continuing. People walking past us gave us this weird look and she gave no pins, "Listen to me. He is fine. No one is trying to call you. He's not dead. When's the last time you checked the mail?" she asked. She took her hand off of my mouth and placed her chin in her folded hands. 







I replied: "Tuesday." Today was Friday. 




She said calmly to me: "Check the mail. You never know..." and I sighed, releasing some stress. 




I tried to say: "But... There hasn't been‐" but she cut me off. 





She said: "Just do it..." and I nodded, trying to look hopeful when really, I knew what the outcome was going to be. 








Disappointing. 







......................













Class was intense and I forced myself the best I could to focus on what the teacher was trying to say about designs tending and fabrics to select. There were a lot of notes and a lot of pointless facts I had to memorize. It was just lovely I can assure you. 







When the professor dismissed us, I packed up my stuff and headed across campus towards my dorm to the mail building. As I walked, I looked in the windows of the buildings. You could see the quote on quote, decorations that were honestly adorable, in the window; little flags and flyers... It gave me a little bit of happiness seeing them. 






I plugged in my ear buds and let the music carry me along my walk, looking at the decorations, changing colored leaves, and the people. A good portion of the student body at least recognized my face from the fashion shows I’ve walked on ramp and adds for being show-stopper quite a number of times. I waved at them if they acknowledged me and ignored them if they ignored me. I wasn't out to make a new friend right now. 







My mind drifted a bit to the show tonight, preparing myself for it. If I didn't start separating my feelings from my focus for the show, I wouldn't perform like they expected me to. I didn't get out as a starter for nothing. 







I didn't know why I was honestly going to the post office. All it would be is junk from the college and stuff like that. What Payal said stuck with me though and I guess that sparked a little bit of hope for me that maybe, just maybe, I'd have something from him. 






I swiped my key‐card in the slot and the door unlocked, letting me enter the small white walled and funky square designed gray carpeted mail room. It was in the back of one of the buildings. The attendant behind the counter paid little attention to me as I entered the room, walking toward my box. I pulled out my key and unlocked my box. Geez, there was a bit in here from this week. Regardless, maybe I should check this thing more often. I started to filter through it. 









Junk 




Junk 




Cell phone bill 





Junk 




Letter from Arnav's platoon 





Fashion Show thing 





Ju‐ 





My hands sputtered once the realization of the letter hit my brain, and everything fell to the floor. I dropped to my knees and my hands searched frantically for the letter, my eyes scanning all of the envelopes in the messy pile. 





A kind voice asked: "Do you need any help?" 




I snapped: "No!" looking up at the startled woman leaning over the edge of the counter at me. Immediately felt embarrassed and frowned at myself, I apologized to her: "I'm sorry, no... I've got it. Thank you..." she chuckled before chuckling a little. 





She said: "I remember being young and stressed, no problem." She took it well but I still felt a bit bad. None the less, that damn letter! 






My eyes spotted the special stamp and I grabbed it, placing it on top of the oh-so disheveled pile I was creating of my mail. My eyes were smiling as they starred at what was on top. 




The woman said: "Have a nice day..." as I rushed out the building. 





I called back to her: "You too!" a smile plastered to my face. I was near tears I was so 
happy right now. I had the letters in one hand as I pulled out my phone in the other. 






Before from other side the person could utter as much as: "Hel‐" 




I yelled into the phone: "PAYAL, IT CAME! HE WROTE ME A LETTER, PAYAL!" as I ran back across campus towards my apartment. 






There was a bit of a crash on her end and a grumble: "Sorry, I dropped my phone from the voice explosion that just blew out my eardrum, but that's great Khu!" she said... The second part happily anyways. 




Feeling excited almost shouting out loud: "I'm running home right now to read it. I just wanted to tell you were right!" I was so freaking pumped right now I didn't know to contain myself. I wanted to jump up and click my heels.... No I was not actually about to do that. 




She said: "That's great... And I guess that means I have bragging rights but, I'll use those later." chuckling evilly. 




I crossed the street from campus to my car in the parking as I got in, I said: "Yeah yeah, I got in my car and now rushing home. I'll talk to you later, Payal." 




She tipped into the phone quickly: "Hey, don't forget the After-party at my place tonight and the theme is costume dress-up..." 




I said: "Oh yeah yeah, see you tonight!" quickly and ended the call, shoving the phone back in my pocket. 







My apartment building complex is nearby from the campus with a 15-20 mins drive. I reached my complex soon then parking my car in my parking space; I got down and ran through the revolving door and the stupid elevator. I sprinted up the stairs and tried shoving the key into the slot four times before it actually went in, allowing me to unlock the door to get in. I went to the kitchen table and ripped open the letter, letting the other things scatter on the table. I grabbed the piece of paper out of the envelope and opened it up. I wanted to cry. It was his writing, this was from him!






Dear Khushi,





God I'm so sorry! I'm so so so sorry that this took so long, Titli. Our mission became a bit... complicated. I won't go into details now, but I do have a few new bullet holes I'll need you to kiss better when I get home. Speaking of which, two weeks, I'll send you an email after I'm sure you got this with times and stuff for the airport.



Khushi, I know this was a lot longer than the four months I promised you. I hope you can forgive me for the extension(s) we got. I've missed you more than anything in the world! I hope you understand by now that you are my world. 





I know this is all pretty garbled with words but, God; I haven't been able to talk to you in so long. It feels so good to be writing to you again. I know I will see you in person soon enough and I'll never have to write a damn letter again because you'll always be right there besides me but, until then, this helps. Knowing that I know your hands will touch this paper just like mine have helps me relax. It’s like really long distance holding hands, really long distance. 




I can't wait to see you darling. I've thought back on our past memories together in the last couple months more than should be legal. 





I love you, 
Arnav 





Tears were spilling down my cheek and my hands were gripping the hell out of the paper. He was coming home in two weeks. Just two weeks! My body was shaking in the chair I was in and nearly fell over out of it. 






My head lolled back and I started laughing, holding the piece of paper against my heart. It felt so good knowing he'd be home soon, knowing that I'd be able to have him in my arms again, knowing that he'd be home for good! It's been too freaking long since he's been home. 




I put the paper down on the counter and tried to settle myself a little bit. I had a show I had to get ready for. I could feel it already; it was going to be a good one! 







.................









The back-stage was buzzing with all sorts of activities and people running in all directions doing thousands of things. Breath in, breath out, I told myself as my eyes flickered to the clock; fifteen seconds I heard the backstage member tell me and I gave her a nod standing in the cue waiting for my turn to walk in. This is a major and biggest Indian Bridal Fashion Week I’ve ever walked on ramp for and I’m the show-stopper, my big chance and I was not letting this go into overtime. 




Thirteen seconds, I saw as the models before me in beautiful different white color based bridal wear with intriguing embroidery design walk on the ramp cat-walking with their heads held high when given go. A back-stage member look once over the models quickly before letting them walk out at their turns and two make-up artists were checking my make-up and hair doing last minute touch-ups.





The music selected for the ramp walk blasted and the clicks of cameras along with awe-ing of the audience over the spectacular designs could be faintly heard. My nerves are wrecked and I tried to keep my head in the game being confident and calm, the show’s success depends on me. 





Ten seconds, five models in front of me as my turn was nearing with the first model in the cue now walked on the ramp on her turn. I could see the wrap ahead of me and how one model was standing in front posing for 5 seconds then turned around to walk back while the other model gracefully walk in front as per her turn. 






Seven seconds, another model walks ahead on the ramp and now only two other are in front of me.








Four seconds, as I watch the model before me walk out on the ramp on her turn and I tried to keep my breathing to not starting panicking. I closed my eyes for one second thinking of the one person who is my strength and the love of my life and everything seemed alright as I watched the 3rd model walk in back-stage and the 2nd model in front.





One second, here comes my cue as the model posing turns around to walk back, I step on the ramp and all eyes and flashes focused on me. I walk on the ramp my one hand end of the red net dupatta at my side and other held the edge near my face as the dupatta was draped over my head elegantly. The theme of this bridal show is white and red where the other displayed outfits were in white with bright color design work and as showstopper my outfit is red and orange-ish red combination long flared anarkali salwar. The outfit is simple with full sleeves and high closed neck but same time very beautiful and elegant with the intriguing work done. 

I gracefully walk at the front and stood in front of the flashing cameras and simple posing and spinning a little making the ankarkali flare beautiful around me. Then few seconds of posing in front I turned around and elegantly walk back down the ramp, just stepping in I walk back at the end of the cue as all were in position for the second round ramp walk. One by one start walking out and taking their positions on the ramp with loud clapping from the audience could be heard.

KHUSHI'S LOOK

The announcer’s voice roared across the venue: "And now please give a big round of applause for the showstopper and creator of this beautiful bridal collection." The crowd went wild with claps and camera flashing as I walk in the ramp smiling holding the hand arm of the designer, Mr. Tarun Tahiliani who was also smiling as all eyes on our entry. God I really hope Arnav was able to watch this one! 

After bowing and smiling at the audience was a cue to walk back, so one by one walked back ending the show. Entering backstage Mr. Tarun kissed my cheek lightly in appreciation as he complimented me and then walked to say thanks to the rest of the models then leaving soon for the press conference. There was a lot of cheering and laughs going on back-stage now at the success of the show, I received a lot of good wishes as I made way to green room. 





Smiled were plastered to everyone's faces as we models all rallied into the Green room, raising hell now that we’re all stress free. They were a good group of girls I enjoyed working with and had gotten close to, most were from my class and I knew them already. We were all amateur models so there weren’t the bitchiness yet and hope never does in any one’s mind, they’re all beautiful inside and out which is rare to be seen in the world of glitter and glamour. A couple of them I would see at Payal's party tonight for a little post celebration in a way. 



Entering the changing room, took a quick shower and removing the heavy make-up, I dried myself quickly then change into my outfit for Payal’s party. I walked inside the green room and sat in front of the mirror as I fished my phone out from my purse switching it on. Hearing it go off several times, I looked at the notifications on the lock screen; two texts and an email, opening them to see. Both of the texts were from Payal. 






P: AWESOME SHOW!!!! 




P: See you I'm a bit Khu :) 






I chuckled at her text and flipped to my emails, my heart slipped a beat. 





Hey babe,


You looked sexy as fuck out there on that ramp walking in that sexy way. It's been so long since I've seen my Baby’s cat-walk... and I forgot how hot it is ;) Love you and can't wait to see you! 


‐ Arnav 





I was so damn giddy after reading that email let out a small scream in joy. My hand that wasn't holding my phone was balled in a tight fist as it pounded as I threw my arms in air jumping in excitement. He watched me walking on the ramp, he saw the whole show! I felt on top of the world right now. I’d have to email him back tonight after the party, wondering if he made some of the other guys in his platoon watch it too. I could picture him staring the screen and knocking the guy beside him on the head upside-down as well warning other guys for drooling over me shouting at them that I’m his girl. 






Gia joked: "Well someone's happy..." she was one of the top models who is mostly show-stopper of western wear, she'd be at the party tonight. 





I said: "He saw the whole show." trying to control myself a bit, but I looked up at him and smiled. Gia looked slightly confused for a moment, but then the light‐bulb clicked above his head and a light smile grew on his lips. 




She asked: "Arnav?" and I nodded my head a bit, closing my eyes and leaning back into the chair.





She chuckled: "Someone's a bit love struck." and I just hummed. 






I quipped: "You know it." I kept rereading the email in my head and held my phone a bit tighter in my hand. I just had to wait a little long to hear those words from his mouth... 





I finished getting ready as I tied my hair in a tight bun, put light make-up and got all my stuff together before leaving the green room. The parking was a mob scene, with hundreds of people offloading from the venue with valets helping the celebs get into their car with the media hovering around. I weaved through the sea of patrons, saying thanks to some who noticed who I was and said something. Once I made it to my own car and hopped in, throwing my stuff in the back seat. The saw the cameo of my costume and grinned a little bit. I was hoping that when Arnav saw the pictures, he'd think it was cute. 







I started the car and buckled myself in. It was party time! 








**** 







The music was bumping, the booze was good and I was in a happy buzzing bliss. I know I looked damn good in my getup as a female Army Officer. Pictures have already gone up on Instagram and Facebook and the whole night was just making me grin. I was confused though, I couldn't find Payal anywhere and so I went to I looked around for her but she just didn't exist. I tapped the shoulder of this be guy Payal knew, he was dressed as a Rajeev Gandhi I guess. He turned around and grinned at me, eyeballing me up and down. And it was clear from his eyes bloodshot drunk but, oh well. 





I asked him: "Hey, do you know where Payal is?" 







His fingers darted to my face and downwards: "Mm, no, but..." I looked down at them for a second as he stopped at my shoulder and then up to him, "...I think I've found what I've been looking for." he said, words slurred with a wink. 






I took his hand, put it back at his side, and I cleared my throat, said to him: "Sorry, mister but that isn’t happening." glaring. 






He lips went to a pout drunkenly and he stamped his foot: "I got all cute tonight!" whining and I sighed.






I did not feel like dealing with an angry drunk guy and I pulled him little down by his jack and leaned closer to her: "See that sexy girl in tight pants over there in the couch with the other bunch of people?" I asked her, telling about Gia who was with our group of friends who were a mix of bunch of girls and guys who were my classmates or models I had sometimes worked with. 






He looked over and then back at me, his eyes incredibly unfocused: "Yeah." he said, giggling drunkenly. 





I told him: "I bet if you go over there and talk to her, she'll think you're really cute too." he seemed to perk up after that and walking over to him. I stood up straight and rolled my eyes. Well, if he wanted to get laid, Gia would help with that.... The wonder of alcohol folks! 






I walked over to another group of her friends, a mix of guys and girls. Some for them were Freedom fighters-and-slash-or-Politicians, and one was someone from British Officers like Mangal Pandey or something I guess. 




I asked them: "Hey, have any of you seen Payal anywhere?" as I approached. 





Their heads snapped to me and while some of them kept it cool, Subhash Chandra Bose and  both exchanged a worried glance. I asked them: "What?" raising a brow.






Bhagat Singh guy started: "She uh..." but failed to finish. 






So dressed as Indira Gandhi butt in: "Went to go grab more ice!" she said quickly, bad lie. 




I countered: "She has an ice maker in the freezer that has more than enough Ice." as I wondered, where the hell was this girl at that was so secret? 






Jawaharlal Nehru said: "B‐But she needed more!" 




My eyes narrowed at them all: "We hardly needed any ice since most off the drinks are in the fridge and the punch still has a massive block of frozen crap in it." 






What the hell was it that people weren't telling me!? I turned around to go ask my friends anything. Gia was making out with that guy on the couch and the others had move a few feet away. They were dressed as Army, Navy and Air Force officials as well. 






I went over and asked them: "Guys, do any of you know where Payal is? Everyone is being weirdo about it.” and they all shrugged their shoulders. 




Anjali, one of my class-mate said: "Not a clue but, she hasn't been around." 





Gia said: "She said she was picking one of her friends up from cross town." half out of breath from kissing the guy and us all looked at her for a second confused. 




I asked him: "Did she say who?" 




She broke apart from the guy again, said: "Nah, just overheard it before she left." and went back to the lip lock. 




I said grumpily: "In calling her." pulling out my phone, walking over to the apartment door. 






The group I asked before giving me concerned looks, Ice machines my foot! I pressed her number and held it up to my ear as it rang. The hall outside was quiet but you could still hear the music and talking muffled by the wall. 






Payal answered: "Hello?" 




I asked: "Payal, where the hell you’re?" concerned mixed with a hint of annoyance. 





She explained: "I'm picking up Sheetal from across town, her car broke down." 






I heard Sheetal’s shrill voice from a distance in the phone: "Hey Khushi!"




Payal said rallying the message: "She said hi." 





I told her: "Yeah, I heard..." looking at my nails, "Why the hell people were being weird when I asked them where you were?" I asked her. 




She asks confused: "How weird?" 





I told her explaining: "Well, this group froze up and blurted out you were going to get more ice...it was weird." 




Payal replies: "Huh, that's odd but I'm about to pull in to the building's garage, I'll see you in few..." and clicked the line. 







I needed another drink and so I went back inside, doing just that. I pick a glass of Virgin Cucumber Mojito and took a sip of it before I walked over to my friends. It didn't take long for the door to open and for Payal and Sheetal to walk in. Sheetal dressed as a scientist and Payal was a doctor, I waved to her and she walked over to me while Sheetal went her own way. 







Payal greeted excitedly: "Hey hey!" 




I apologized to her: "Hey, sorry about the call..." 





But she smiled and tossed her hand said: "Doesn't matter, people were being weird..." and then there was a knock on the door she asked, "Can you get that while I get some punch?" 




I nodded and then I walked over to the door, some people were giving me there weird happy smile look which was honestly creeping me out, especially that Politicians dressed group from earlier. I was glaring over at them when I opened the door and a deep voice asked: "I'm not too late for the party, am I?" 







My whole body froze upon hearing that voice, his voice and my head slowly turned to see Arnav standing there in his army uniform with a cute smile plastered to his face. I felt my knees growing week and my head felt light. I asked stupidly: "Arnav?" as I reached out to touch him, my hand gliding up his cheek.




His arms extended and gripped me, pulling me to him in a tight embrace, his body enveloping me and he whispered into my ear: "Hi Babydoll...”





That's when the cheering started, and I just shoved my face deep into his big barrel chest. a couple of my friends called out: "GET IT, KHUSHI!" and I couldn't help but chuckle. 





Arnav ran his hands up and down my back and I just floated in his embrace: "Want to go home, Titli?" he asked and I nodded into his chest. 






His hands fell down to mine, closing them in his and I turned around to call out: "Payal?" 





She walked into my line of sight and winked: "Go, get home, fuck like rabbits...” like the big mouth she is and flipped her hair turning around, keeping her head looking at me, she added, "Lord knows I would with that fine Army Man you have there." making me blush in front of all these people.





I felt Arnav pulled me out of the apartment and I mouth a quick bye to everyone who was staring. Once the door closed, he let go of my hands and I looked up at this beautiful man and said quietly: "Ten months." 






Arnav sighed apologetically: "Ten months." 




I said again: "It was a long time." 





He said: "I know..." his voice rumbling softly, looking down at the floor. His hand reached out and landed on my arm, slowly sliding down it says, "And were going to fuck like we haven't seen each other in that long." grabbed my hand again, pulling me down the hallway. 





I started giggling from the shift in mood, asking him sarcastically: "You get a little worked up overseas, huh?" and he verbally growled. 





He pulled me to him and smashed his lips against mine aggressively, possessively as bit on my lower lip and his hands went to my butt, gripping it. He pulled back, both of us panting into each other's faces: "I've missed you... So damn much. I want to be with you all night and all day tomorrow, just you and me. No family, no cell-phones, no TV, just you and I making love to each other and I'm sure you want some type of explanation. So let’s go Private, this Lieutenant Colonel just flew across the country to make love to his beyond beautiful girlfriend-slash-fiancé." he picked me up by my lower hip and I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. His hands stayed on my butt, "By the way, love the costume..." he said and pulled my tight bun open, letting my long hair tremble down my back. 





I snuggled into him, loving the feeling of him up against me again as carried me down the stairs and out the door into the basement garage. He walked up to my car and set me down next to the passenger door, planting a kiss on my nose said, "Keys." and held out his hand.







I dug in the pocket of my pants and pulled out the car keys, handing them to him that he smiling took from me and we both got in the car. He put his hand on the center consul and wiggled his finger. It’s what he did when he wanted me to hold his hand and I smiled, remembering the gesture, placing my hand in his.






I looked over at him and he looked at mine, closing his hand around mine: "I missed this." he said softly. 




I closed my eyes, remembering for a moment, and nodded my head replied tearfully: "I did too, Arnav." 





He sighed and pushed the start button then put the car into drive and pulled out of the spot. I watched him as he drove, looking handsome as hell in his uniform loving the fact that he didn't take it off yet. His large chest pushed out the chest and his arms filled the sleeves perfectly. Hell, everything about him was perfect and he was all mine, forever. 






His thumb rubbed the top of my hand as I whispered: "It's been so long."






His thumb stopped for a second and then kept going, he said: "Yeah, it has been..." his deep voice grumbling, "I missed you every morning when I got up from when I laid back down to sleep. And I hated not being able to contact you but, how do I say this without breaking the law..." he questioned.





I let out a small defeated chuckle, I told him: "I understand Arnav; you were in a war-zone at the borders in between a war situation. I just missed you a lot and it doesn't matter what kept you there and I just need you, now that you’re finally here.” 






He looked over at me with a tearful smile: "I love you." he said softly. 






I said back: "I love you, too." 







.............. 









[SLIGHTLY MATURE]





The door to our apartment flew open as we came crashing through it, me wrapped around Arnav as he carried me, grabbing my ass while kissing my mouth like no other. He shut the door with his boot then set me down and I turned around. The lights were dimmed and rose petals were in a line on the ground leading to the bedroom. 





I asked: "How did you get time to do this?" slightly laughing at how corny it was though very romantic but corny nonetheless. 




His arms came around me and pulled my back to his chest, I could feel his bulge pushing into my back and I gulped. His hard member was directly proportional to his body and it's been a long time since he's touched me. He leaned down and nibbled me ear: "I did it after I watched your show and before Payal picked me up.”




Then growled softly: "Now..." he started and his hands palmed my butt, "Are you going to make me wait all night to make love to my fiancé or can we get to it..?" he said in a sexy low tone. 





I couldn't help the whimper that came out of my mouth making him chuckle and started to kiss my neck as we walked toward the bedroom. His hands were roaming up and down my sides until we walked into the bedroom. He shut the door and turned me around, grabbing at the bottom of my shirt and pulled it off of my body then ripped my lace red bra, attacking my left nipple. His one hand gripped my soft right boob squeezing it with his rough warm hand. His other free hand roamed lightly on my side as his continued biting my one nipple while pinching the other making them hard and me moan in pleasure. 





He huffed out: "I missed those sounds you make, baby." before latching back on the other one, giving both of my blossoms equal attention.





My hands went to his short, buzzed hair, lightly gripping the back of his head. His mouth moved in between my boobs slowly made his way down my navel. His eyes looked up into mine and I pulled him up, kissing him. His hands went down to the Velcro belt on the costume pants while mine went to undoing his uniform top. My pants went to my ankles and I opened up the shirt but he had the green undershirt on. 





He must have seen the frustration on my face because he started chuckle, said: "Let me." and shrugged off his shirt and then reached for the hen of is undershirt, pulling it off in one swift movement. 




My eyes went directly to his lightly hairy, well defined, tattoo covered body. His body was made of thick muscle on top of muscle, massive barrel chest with a black rose on his chest, the grim reaper on his left bicep as a sleeve and a tribal tattoo on the right. There was a new one I hadn't seen before over his heart that was a tribal heart-butterfly said 'MY LOVE' with my initials as ‘KSR’ underneath it. My fingers slowly went up and traced the new ink as my breath caught in my throat and my small hand covered the tattoo completely. 








He bent down a little bit and brought his face close, caressing the side of my face with his hand asked: "Do you like it?" 






I nodded replying: "I love it." my voice quivering. 




Arnav says: "It technically wasn't allowed, but when you’re in charge..." I closed the distance, kissing him deeply as we pull back he continues, “It helped me remember what I've been fighting for." told me. 






His hands lightly pulled my hand on his tattoo down his body to his left oblique where three new bullet scars were now embedded in his skin: "What happened?" I whispered, shocked. 






He answers: "Some gunman in a town that didn't really want us there... He was part of a cell we had been tracking." 





I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace and let out a heavy breath. His hands rubbed my back in a slow formation and I felt his warm breath on my skin and tried to focus on that. He said: "I'm alive, Titli. I'm alive." trying to calm me.






I let out a nervous laugh: "You tried to warn me in your letter, I guess I got too wrapped up in the excitement of getting your letter that I kind of overlooked an important detail." I explained. 






He leaned back and smiled softly at me, running his hand through my long silky hair, cooing to me: "I'm home for good now. I'm never going back over there." and slowly started moving us back towards the bed. 






When the back of my legs hit it, he slowly helped me down to the sheets, covering me with his own body; chest to chest, my legs spread and pulling him in between... Everything was warm. 







He whispered: "You’ve me now forever and always." and then his lips came down into mine delivering a smoldering kiss. 









[MATURE 18+]




Neither of us could help the low moan that came from no both of our throats. My arms roamed his back and his fingers glided through my long tresses as he ground his lower half into mine. For the first time in a long time, I felt his piece pulsing against me through the fabric of his cameo. I pushed up against him to encourage him, not like he needed any. I knew his mindset, and right now, he was set on delivering a ‘Welcome Home’ hot love-making session like I couldn't believe. 





His hip movements became more erratic as his lips moved down to my neck, lightly sucking on the sensitive skin. I moaned out: "Arnav!" as he bit down on that spot I liked so much. It hasn't been touch, well truthfully all of me, but it hasn't been touched on so long. The re‐connection was amazing. 





His hands slid down to my matching lacy boy-short panties and slid them off, getting me naked and still being pressed to his body. My own adventurous fingers slid down his back and tugged at his pants. He chuckled and rolled over, quickly removing the offending article of clothing. He pulled off his underwear in the same swoop and rolled into his side, propping up his head in his hand. He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I winked at him. 







He said: "Get over here." and grabbed my body, pulling me to him as he rolled back on top of me. His lips crashed back to mine as his fingers started playing with my naked flesh, teasing by running the tips of his fingers over my sensitive parts as I shuddered at the feeling. He sat up some and reached back to the night stand, opened the drawer bring out the box of condom kept there. 






Grinning slyly, he pulled one and sexily about rip it open with his mouth but I shook my head no and say to him softly: “I want to feel you without anything...”






Arnav’s eyes darken more at my words, asks me: “Are you sure?” as I nod and he looks in my eyes searchingly for few moments.






Once assured he threw it over his shoulder with a sexy smirk on playing on his lips and he had his eyes locked with mine the whole time. Then his long middle finger traced down from my chest to south to my soaking womanhood making me arc my back wanting more of his touch and slowly pushed it inside my core. 

The amount of time that had passed between now and the last time he had made love to me had me tighter than vice grip. After a little bit, he added another and I groaned at the stretch but welcomed the accompanied burn. My jaw went slack a bit as he scissored me open, kissing my neck. When he removed his fingers, I gasped at the loss of contact. 







His body shifted on top of me and growled erotically grabbing my hips in a strong hold and squeezed it firmly holding me in my place then positioned himself over me. Neither of us spoke as he lined up the large head and my hand slid intertwining my fingers in his hair, gripping them. He slid forward more, pushing deeper into me, I couldn't hold in the moan trapped in my throat. The more he pushed in, the more that my legs kept shifting, my body moving trying to adjust to the massive log being put inside of me after such a long wait... Dear god did it feel great! 





Once he was fully seethed inside of me, we looked into each other’s eyes for a moment before we both just broke out in laughter. His body fell onto mine and our arms wrapped around each other and we held each other while we let out our silly hysteria. 







Arnav tell me in his sexy husky voice: "I've been through so much nonsense in the last ten months, but this..." he gave a good solid thrust up into me. 








I yelped: "Arnavvvv!" my eyes fluttering, he filled me to the brim. 






Continues to what he was says: "Being with you like this makes it all worth it..." and started to make small slow thrusts causing my nerves to heat up, "You make it all worth It." bites my bottom lip lightly and tugs on it. 







I writhed under him as every nerve in my body exploded at his touch, the welcomed invasion of my body. He connected himself with me, bringing us back to being one with every single thrust. His strong arms held me to him and my fingers dug into his back, clinging onto him as I moaned out, taking me on this ride. 









He grunted: "Baby, you're so tight! It's been so long." as he drove into me over and over again. 





I was panting heavily in between as I say: "It's all... for you... Gods... You're... Huge!" when I could catch my breath. 







He reached down and grabbed my hips, lifting them slightly. He pulled out and looked me in the eyes before kissing my nose and I knew what he was about to do. Arnav drove back in, hard, and with the new angle, the head of his manhood rammed into that spot inside of me. 






I lost it and screamed his name: "ARNAV!" 




He kept hammering into me like that and he leaned down to whisper in ear aggressively: "Yeah, Titli! Feel me in you... I never want you to forget how this feels... Never want you to forget how much I love you." as my nails were probably leaving scratch marks on his back. 






I was in a sensory overload: "I... I lo ‐ love you to‐o." managing to sputter out somehow. 




Arnav answers back: "I'm going to love you like this for the rest of our lives." his lips crashed against mine in a sloppy passion, tongues battling for as much contact as they could make, lips sucking lips. 




I was getting close; I could feel it building inside of me like building up and up as if I’m ready to fall over the edge. And I could feel by how fast Arnav was fucking the daylights out of me, he was close too. 







I tried to say: "O... I'm gonna..." but the words wouldn't form. 





He moaned: "Let loose Baby, I'm right there too." and I did. 









It took two more deep thrusts from him and I was gone, the world going blurry as I fell over my edge. I could feel him deep in me, exploding himself as my channel squeezing him in a silken vice grip and I hummed. My vision came back in time to see his beautiful O‐face as is body collapsed onto mine. 





We laid there, our bodies covered in sheen of sweat as we rubbed against each other us while his manhood still logged inside of kept his load deep inside me. We lay there like that, panting, for a while trying to get down from our high. Eventually, he kissed my cheek and started to move, pulling out with an audible pop upon leaving my body and I felt empty without him there. 







[MATURE 18+ ENDS]








He cracked his neck once he stood and then he reached down, picking me up bridal style and carried me to our bathroom. I asked him: "Every night?" with a sleepy sly grin.







Arnav set me down my two feet and pecked my lips: "Every night." he promised. 




He went over to the shower and turned on the water, I say sleepily: "I can deal with that." 




We held each other and washed away all the sex in the shower, all giggling and laughing, dropping the soap. Relaxing and having a good time, then not to mention him pressing me against the tiled wall and kissing me like mad. I was going to have awful beard burn tomorrow but I could not care less. 






He shut the water off and I grabbed our towels off the rack, handing one to him as we dried off quickly, then wrapped around ourselves and did our nightly routine together for the first time in ten months. I never realized how much I missed doing something as simple as brushing my teeth next to him as he made stupid silly faces and I made them back. He'd poke me and I'd giggle like a silly. In the end, when we got back to bed, I laid my head right on that new tattoo of his; laid my hand over the new cars and snuggled up to the man who is my fiancé and soon-to-be Husband. 









Arnav’s arm held me close while his hand gently rubbed my back: "I'm back to you for forever Titli; I don’t need to go on field anymore. So now I want us to get married as soon as possible and officially make you Mrs. Khushi ‘Titli’ Singh Raizada" he said softly into the darkness of the room. 







I said and intertwined our fingers together I told him: “Ah huh, I want to Mrs. Khushi ‘Titli’ Arnav Singh Raizada." loosely holding his hand, snuggling into his chest.




He ran his fingers through my hair soft say simply: “Whatever makes you happy, I love you my beautiful Titli.”








I simply say back smilingly: “I love you too my Booboo...” 






Tonight as the start of the rest of our lives together as my man was home back on Independence Day and freeing me from my prison of loneliness, filling my world with bright warm sunshine of love again.

*****************















A/N: Hello, I guess by now all know why I hadn't updated my other stories and those who didn't for them... well I was writing this extra long OS especially for today and it took so much extra time, mostly editing part since my mouse is not working...its so hard without mouse to edit. Anyways moving with it...


Happy Independence Day to everyone and here I'm with an Independence Day special OS which is very long but whatever I guess. Anyhow I wrote from a Point Of View of how an Defense Official's fiance's rather than an Defense Official because I feel everyone sees the man fighting on border which is amazing since they do so much for us. But we tend to forget the people behind the screens like their families and I connect to that more since my dad is in Air Force and he had to live alone few years without us before I came to live with him and I've seen my Mom living without him but she had me and my sister kept her quite occupied. And I remember when Dad use to come holidays at home, it would be total fun chaos and then I came to live with my Dad a year ago. Not to sound conceit or something, my Mom has a extra soft spot for me then my sister and she asks so many times for me to stay with her on vacations but I refuse not wanting to leave Dad alone. And here living with Dad is an nice experience but sometimes even I get homesick... and when we go back home for holidays and stuff... tried to write something encircling those. 


I hope its not a disaster and really looking forward for all the comments and likes... 


With love,
 Kavya